Thames Sailing Club
Ingrid's Tales
BUNG HO!
A True Tall Tale about TSC as told to “Yachts & Yachting “, 1970
The Bar Secretary was furious. There were just two corked bottles of gin left in stock, and one of those corks was already earmarked for McDougall, who was always losing his bung. Tomorrow was the start of an open meeting and there were bound to be visitors in the same predicament.
Do you know what had happened? The new delivery of gin bottles all had screw tops. Not a cork amongst them. Absolutely no warning, no apology, no thought of the disastrous consequences to many people. The Bar Secretary could not let the crisis drift without taking action, so he put an URGENT notice about lack of corks on the notice board, putting the blame where blame was due.
The news was received by members with the indignation it deserved, and for at least 10 minutes overshadowed the argument at the bar about who had right of way at the buoy that afternoon. It was unanimously agreed that the Hon. Bar. Sec. should write a stiff letter to the distillery, at the highest level, which he did before going to bed, while the topic was still fresh in spirit.
Dear Sir,
For over 45 years this sailing club has bought your gin. Many new boats have been designed in that time and much standardisation achieved in order to bring sailing into the reach of the masses. That has included bunghole sizes; medicine bottles size, champagne size (few), in overwhelming majority gin size. Your gin, Sir.
Corks don’t last forever. They break, get lost, and float away in buoyancy tests. Always this club has been able to produce a replacement without charge to you for free advertisement on the transoms of boats travelling all over the country.
Now, without warning, you have changed to screw top fasteners and many small boat sailors may be deprived of their recreation. If you cannot change your bottling policy the Committee may have to recommend a change of supplier.
Yours faithfully
You know, the Production Manager thought he was having his leg pulled! He was a golfer, not a sailor, but he called in one of his reps that he knew had a dinghy.
“Smith, is it true that all that keeps the water out of sailing dinghies are our corks?”
“Yes, Sir, jolly good too. Even better if we had a stronger join between cork and serrated edge. Less tendency to find ourselves still bunged up with the head in our hands!”
“Smith, the company will not revert to corks for the sake of sailors, but we can try to save their goodwill. Get a box of old corks, take a few sample bottles to the club and see what you can do”.
“Yes, Sir!”
Smith knew the TSC. This was job for a Tuesday evening!! The Bar Sec gratefully stowed the corks away and decorated the shelf with the miniatures. The assembled bar got down to the serious business of the evening and a few pints later Smith was ready to admit his Directors had made a shocking error in policy. They were decent chaps but a bit dim about boats. How about the Bar Committee coming to see over the distillery one day and have lunch in their canteen? The invitation was accepted unambiguously and a date fixed before retraction was possible. Many working hours were lost that day and appetites for home suppers were suspiciously diminished!
We discovered a few weeks later that the local Marina sells cheap, first rate rubber bungs, firmly attached to strings, unbreakable, unlosable, just the job for dinghies. There is no holding the march of progress. Anyone want a box of old corks?
Page last updated: 12/01/2008 18:39:08
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